The first step in protecting your marriage is to have a serious talk with your spouse about it. Many of the couples I’ve worked with got into trouble with porn because they never talked about it.
For men, not talking about pornography can lead them to believe their wives don’t mind if they view it. Thus, it’s important for couples to talk about how they feel about porn.
Wives need to explain to their husbands how hurtful pornography is to them. Husbands need to know that using pornography is no different than having an extramarital affair.
In addition to discussing pornography, it’s important for couples to educate themselves on the dangers of pornography. On this website you will find numerous educational resources, including blog posts, books, and DVDs. Our goal here at Integrity Restored is to ensure that all couples can properly educate themselves. It is our hope that once you are aware of each other’s feelings about pornography and are educated on the truth about it, both of you will have the resolve to keep it out of your marriage.
Finally, you need to be aware of the resources and strategies needed to keep pornography from entering your lives. This includes Internet monitoring software, support and accountability, and continually growing in healthy love and intimacy in your marriage. Above all, you need to view pornography as a terrible drug that could destroy your marriage, so you need to be committed to avoiding it at all costs.
If you’re reading this page, you’re probably married and want to protect your marriage from the dangers of pornography. Or, maybe your marriage has been seriously affected by pornography use and you’re seeking help to heal your marriage.
Either way, you’re in the right place. Here you will find tips to protect and/or heal your marriage. More information will be found on specific pages of this website.
For some couples, pornography use has even led to divorce. Studies have shown that pornography use currently plays a significant role in 56% of all divorces! However, a marriage that has been wounded by pornography use need not end in divorce. Healing and restoration are possible.
When a marriage has been wounded by pornography use, I recommend the offending spouse (often the husband) be the one to seek help for the marriage.
For the couples who are most successful in recovery, it’s the husband who is proactive about getting help. He takes full responsibility for his addiction, his recovery, and how his addiction has affected his wife and marriage. He will seek out a therapist who can help him and his wife. He is totally committed to his recovery program and to healing his marriage. He will schedule and attend marital therapy sessions with his wife. He will encourage her to get help for her trauma. He regularly apologizes to his wife and demonstrates to her his commitment to restoring their marriage and to becoming the virtuous husband God has called him to be. This will help restore trust in the marriage. He will finally become the man God has called him to be and the man his wife and family need him to be!