How do I Know if I’m Addicted?
Because pornography is so widely used and accepted today, many people may wonder if they are addicted to it. According to Dr. Mark Laaser (1992) pornography/sexual addiction is “any persistent and escalating unhealthy pattern of sexual behavior. It is compulsive in nature and used to avoid or change feelings despite destructive consequences to self and others.”
Diagnosing an addiction to pornography requires the assistance of a trained mental health professional. While there are many self-tests you can take regarding this issue, at most they can only help assess your risk of being addicted to pornography. However, there are signs you can look for that may indicate a real addiction.
Since most pornography today is accessed online, Dr. Patrick Carnes, in his book, In the Shadows of the Net (2007), notes ten characteristics of problematic online sexual behavior:[i]
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- Preoccupation with sex on the Internet
- Frequently engaging in sex on the Internet more often or for longer periods of time than intended
- Repeated unsuccessful efforts to control, cut back on, or stop engaging in sex on the Internet
- Restlessness or irritability when attempting to limit or stop engaging in sex on the Internet
- Using sex on the Internet as a way of escaping from problems or relieving feelings of helplessness, guilt, anxiety, or depression
- Returning to sex on the Internet day after day in search of a more intense or higher-risk sexual experience
- Lying to family members, therapists, or others to conceal involvement with sex on the internet
- Committing illegal sexual acts online (for example, sending or downloading child pornography or soliciting illegal sex acts online)
- Jeopardizing or losing a significant relationship, job, or educational or career opportunity because of online sexual behavior
- Incurring significant financial consequences as a result of engaging in online sexual behavior
If you and/or someone you love are struggling with any of these signs, I recommend seeking the help of a competent mental health professional who is certified in the diagnosis and treatment of sexual addiction. For more information, log onto my website: www.PeterKleponis.com.
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[i]Patrick Carnes, et al., In the Shadow of the Net: Breaking Free of Compulsive Online Behavior. Second Edition, (Center City, MN: Hazelden Publishing, 2007).
Mark Laaser, Healing the wounds of sexual addiction, (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2004).
About the Author
Dr. Peter Kleponis
Dr. Peter Kleponis is a Licensed Clinical Therapist and a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist. He is Director of Integrity Counseling Services in King of Prussia, PA. He holds an M.A. in Clinical-Counseling Psychology from LaSalle University in Philadelphia, PA and a Ph.D. in General Psychology from Capella University in Minneapolis, MN. Dr. Kleponis has over 25 years of professional experience working with individuals, couples, families and organizations. He specializes in pornography addiction recovery, marriage & family therapy, pastoral counseling, resolving anger, and men’s issues.
Dr. Kleponis is founder of the successful Integrity Starts Here! recovery program for pornography addiction. He is also cofounder of IntegrityRestored.com, an organization dedicated to educating Catholics on the dangers of pornography and on ways to protect families. He travels extensively throughout the U.S. and abroad educating people on how to win the battle against pornography through his Fighting Porn in Our Culture…and Winning! conference program. He has presented conferences to numerous dioceses, colleges, seminaries, religious communities, parent’s groups and other Catholic organizations.
Dr. Kleponis has been a guest on EWTN television programs such as Women of Grace, Franciscan University Presents, Crossing the Goal, At Home with Jim & Joy,andEWTN Bookmark. He is often a guest on Relevant Radio’s On-Call program.
Dr. Kleponis resides in Phoenixville, PA with his wife, Maria, and their sons, John and Matthew. He can be contacted at PeterKleponis.com.
