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It can be incredibly overwhelming to realize just how many men, women, and young people in our parishes are struggling with pornography use, and as indicated by the question, sometimes we aren’t really sure where to start. I’ve always found it best to break down the problem into parts.

There are three main areas to focus on as you get started: Education, Outreach, and Referral resources.

1. Education

The education piece is two-fold. As a priest, you can begin by educating yourself about pornography and sexual addiction. I recommend three resources to get started with. The first is Integrity Restored: Helping Catholic Families win the battle against pornography by Dr Peter Kleponis. This book gives a comprehensive vision for both understanding the problem of pornography addiction and provides a path to healing for men, women, and young people. He also addresses what is probably the biggest “elephant in the room”—priests, religious, and seminarians who are addicted to pornography.

My additional recommendations for reading include: Out of the Shadows by Patrick Carnes, Healing the wounds of sexual addiction by Mark Laaser, and Treating Pornography Addiction by Dr Kevin Skinner.

Secondly, begin educating your parishioners—especially parents—about the dangers of pornography. Covenant Eyes has produced a 32 minute workshop for parents called Unfiltered which addresses the brain science behind pornography addiction, God’s plan for love, and some practical tools to watch over and protect children. This can be shown during marriage preparation (especially for convalidations), baptism classes, first communion parent meetings, confirmation parent meetings, school and family association meetings, etc. I began in our diocese by giving this workshops in a variety of settings.

Parents are always grateful for the information and practical tools to protect their families. Another resource to give out at these workshops is a book called Good Pictures/Bad Pictures. It can be read to small children to teach them how to respond when they are exposed in inappropriate material.

2. Outreach

Accountability groups are very effective for helping men to achieve and maintain sobriety from pornography. The difficulty is getting started. A bulletin announcement that says, “Meeting for men who are addicted to porn this Wednesday” will not draw anyone. I have found however that a strong exhortation and invitation that begins in the confessional is quite effective.

Our goal should be to move men from the confessional to the office for pastoral counseling and then to a therapist or group. Once you have two or three men who are willing to “take the next step” and come to your office to talk, you can then ask if they are willing to meet in a group setting with other men. The purpose of this group would be accountability and spiritual nourishment. You might even already have a man in your parish who is experienced with these accountability groups and may be willing to help you get things off the ground.

3. Referral Resources

Knowing where to refer is of utmost importance. Many people who struggle with sexual addiction also have deep wounds in their past. Many were victims of sexual abuse, or they were exposed to hard core pornography at such a young age that they have similar symptoms to a sexual abuse victim. Start with any Catholic counselors in your area and find out if they have experience with sexual addiction and betrayal trauma (for wives). You should also look up any local people with a CSAT or SATP certification and contact them to find out if they will work well within a Catholic framework.

If you cannot find a Catholic therapist who works with sexual addiction, you should be assured that they will not provide counsel that is contrary to Catholic teaching to clients you refer. If you are going to serve as spiritual director for people you refer ask about getting a release of information so that you can communicate with the therapist. This referral will help you to establish boundaries between therapy and spiritual direction and ensure a truly collaborative approach.

SA groups are also great resources for referrals. There are many strong SA communities around the country that provide accountability and support as individuals work toward sobriety. Try to reach out to your local SA community and find out which meetings are available in your area. When I started running Unfiltered, my name started getting out, and soon the SA community contacted me—they are very good to work with.

This may seem like a lot of information, but we are here to provide assistance and resources. You might start with Dr Kleponis’ book and Unfiltered, then as questions arise please contact us here at Integrity Restored.

Our hope is that this site will be resource for information and dialogue as we develop best practices for proclaiming the gospel in a pornified culture.