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By Peter C. Kleponis, PhD, SATP, CSAT-C

In a blog post I recently read on NoFapp.com, men posted stories about how building with Legos helped them overcome their addiction to pornography and masturbation: (https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/100-days-and-100-legos-later.12936/).

This doesn’t surprise me.  One of the keys to healthy recovery is to develop healthy hobbies.  While I hate to make generalizations about people, in this instance I’ll make an exception.  Men like to build things.  This is why more men seek careers in STEM (computers, engineering, technology, etc.) and construction trades (plumber, carpenter, electrician, etc.) than women.  I know this sounds sexist, but it’s true.  This starts from an early age.  I have two sons (ages 6 and 9) and both of them love Legos!  While there are some Lego sets designed for girls, all one needs to do is look at the Lego sets in Target to see they are more geared towards boys than girls.

Men also like to see the fruits of their labor.  They like instant gratification.  With Legos one can spend several hours building the Star Wars Death Star and experience the joy of their accomplishment.  This can provide a dopamine rush as enjoyable as in viewing pornography.  This experience, however, isn’t limited to Legos.  There are many healthy hobbies that men can engage in that will give them a clear sense of accomplishment.  Some of my clients who are successful in recovery enjoy many different activities:

• Modal cars, boats, and airplanes
• Home improvement projects
• Gardening
• Cooking
• Rock climbing
• Modal trains
• Fitness/Exercise
• Hiking
• Biking
• Learning a new sport
• Jigsaw puzzles
• Crossword puzzles

The key, I believe, is having an activity that one enjoys, can be done alone, engages the mind, and achieves visible results in a short period of time.  Legos certainly provide this!

In addition to experiencing instant gratification, such activities can help a man deal with painful emotions.  For example, it’s late on a Friday night, your tired, stressed from work, bored, burnt out, lonely and isolated.  Normally this might lead you to surf the web and eventually get into viewing porn.  However, having an interesting activity that you can look forward to, and experience the joy of your labor, can help keep you away from the internet and pornography.

While these solitary activities are healthy and I encourage them in my clients, they are no substitute for healthy relationships.  Many experts refer to sexual/pornography addition as an intimacy disorder.  This is because deep down the real need is for healthy relationships.  Thus, in addition to healthy hobbies, I encourage my clients to work on healthy relationships.  This often starts with accountability partners.  When men support each other daily in recovery, it’s easier to achieve and maintain sobriety.  Healthy relationships with friends, family and wives are also important.  Many of the men I work with benefit from coaching on how to have healthy relationships.  What’s better is if they can combine their hobbies with healthy relationships.  For example, don’t just build with Legos, join a Lego club.  Or join any organization of people with similar interests.  This provides a healthy outlet when alone and a point of connection with others!

The ultimate goal of recovery is not just ending the use of pornography and masturbation.  The real goal is transformation.  Becoming a new creation in Christ; the man God created you to be!  This often means taking risks and trying new things.  Legos or any of the hobbies listed above could be something that could help you in your recovery.  Don’t worry if the hobby seems childish.  What’s important is that it gives you joy and something healthy to do when you would normally be surfing the web for porn.  This can be a valuable addition to your recovery program!