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My eight year old was exposed to porn online! What do I do? Unfortunately, this is not an uncommon question. Just the other day I received a call from a concerned mother who discovered her children were both exposed to internet pornography on the family’s tablet computer.

The first thing to do in this case is to stop, breathe, and invite Jesus to be with you in the current situation, “Lord Jesus, you are welcome into this moment in my life.” These are some concrete steps to addressing what happened with your child:

1. Reassure

Reassure them that they are not in trouble. They were exposed to pornography. Most children who have seen pornography did not go looking for it. Someone exposed them. That someone might have been a friend who told them to google “sex” or it might have been the pornographer who posted the content on the internet in the first place. It is important to ask them about what they saw and to make space for them to talk to you about it.

2. Educate

Educate them about pornography. Ideally this will begin to happen more frequently at younger ages. I recommend you get a book called Good Pictures/Bad Pictures and read it with your children. It is written for young children and provides a vocabulary for talking about the inappropriate content they might be exposed to in our culture.

The authors lay out a five point

“CAN DO” plan if exposure ever occurs:

a. Close your eyes

b. Alert an adult

c. Name it when you see it

d. Distract yourself with other thoughts

e. Order your thinking brain to be in charge

3. Have “The Talk”

If you haven’t had “the talk” yet, begin right away. Some parents delay teaching their children about sex and sexuality until they are older. In fact, in my generation most parents didn’t have that talk with us. Today, we don’t have that privilege. When young people have questions they are more likely to google than to go to Mom and Dad. If your child has been exposed to pornography, they have seen a distorted view of human sexuality.

Now is the time to inform them about the truth. There is a great book series that will help you to frame an ongoing discussion called God’s Design for Sex. It is Christian and intended to guide age-appropriate discussions with your children. For a more Catholic (slightly less direct) approach I recommend a book called The Joyful Mysteries of Life. Beyond the Birds and the Bees is an excellent book for parents to inform ongoing conversations.

4. Monitor All Devices

Start monitoring all computers, tablets, and mobile devices. Now, more than ever, it is important to watch over your kids’ online activity to ensure that they do not go back to more pornography. Covenant eyes will give a full report of your family’s online history so that you can intervene right away if there is anything questionable in their report. Learn more here.

5. Set Parental Controls

Insure all parental controls are set on video game systems, windows computers, apple devices, and tablets. All of these items have native parental controls which will help you to protect your children from additional exposures.

6. Continue The Conversation

Continue to monitor your son or daughter. They may ask questions like, “how do I get thoughts out of my head?” I recommend prayers to St Michael and their guardian angel; Most of all I recommend the prayer we started with, “Lord Jesus you are welcome into my thoughts.” The light of Christ entering into our imaginations is what scatters the darkness.

These are a few steps to get you started. You may also consult with a therapist who has experience withsexual addiction to find out of additional support is needed for your child.