When Chris came to me for help for his pornography addiction he sincerely wanted to uncover and resolve the root causes of his addiction. He had read stories about people addicted to pornography and sex who as children had been abused, neglected, or were raised by alcoholics. Because he had experienced none of these traumas in his life he […]
Chuck was doing well in his recovery. He had four months of healthy sobriety; however, he complained of being bored with life. Not much interested him. He went to school and work everyday but found little enjoyment in it. He believed he might be depressed but didn’t know why. He thought that giving up porn […]
Two primary factors that often keep people from seeking help for pornography addiction is guilt and shame. While they often act together, they are two very different emotions. Guilt focuses on the behavior while shame focuses on the person. Both need to be resolved for a healthy recovery. Guilt Guilt is an emotion that focuses on actions. It […]
For many wives, discovering that their husband has been looking at porn can be traumatizing. According to Barbara Steffens and Marsha Means, authors of the book Your Sexually Addicted Spouse, 70 percent of wives dealing with spousal betrayal fit the criteria for PTSD. That’s right, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Steffens explains, “Once disclosure happens, and […]
When Karen discovered her husband’s pornography addiction, her world seemed to fall apart. She felt deeply hurt and betrayed. Suddenly the man she had been married to for fifteen years was a total stranger to her. She felt she could never trust him again. She did not feel safe with him. She moved into another bedroom and wouldn’t allow […]
When Lou was confronted about his use of Internet pornography, his excuse was that he was tired of the “vanilla” sex he was having with his wife, Roberta. He claimed he needed more excitement in the bedroom. This left Roberta feeling both angry and sad. She felt as if Lou was blaming her for his pornography use. She […]
My eight year old was exposed to porn online! What do I do? Unfortunately, this is not an uncommon question. Just the other day I received a call from a concerned mother who discovered her children were both exposed to internet pornography on the family’s tablet computer. The first thing to do in this case […]
Scott had been married a year when he began to have difficulty having sex with his wife. He was finding it more difficult to achieve and maintain an erection with her. At the age of 30 he couldn’t believe he was struggling with erectile dysfunction! He consulted his family doctor about it and was referred […]
At a recent church gathering Paul, a young father, came up to me and asked how he can protect his children from pornography. I responded by asking him what he is doing to protect himself. Paul was surprised by my response because he was more concerned about his children than himself when it came to […]
Bill and Kathy are in their mid-forties. They have been married twenty years and have six children. Bill is a military officer and Kathy is a stay-at-home mom. Kathy sought marital counseling when she caught Bill viewing Internet pornography. A scan of the history on his laptop computer, cell phone and tablet revealed that he […]
